Perfect The Way You Are By Rev. Cathy Toldi

“Each of you is perfect the way you are ...
and you can use a little improvement.”

-- Shunryu Suzuki

I think most of us are pretty clear about the “you can use a little improvement” part of this statement.  Our shortcomings are constantly pointed out by our own internal critical voices, as well as by people in our lives. We’re bombarded by advertisements for products that presume we need to be healthier, smarter, sexier, etc. 

Of course we can all use some improvement.  This is how we grow.  But the practice of refining our lives doesn’t mean that we’re defective. In fact, we are perfect, just the way we are. This is a core premise in Zen. In the Genjo Koan, Eihei Dogen tells us “when you find your place where you are, practice unfolds, actualizing the fundamental point.”

How could it be true that we are both perfect, and in need of some improvement?
            This is none other than the Two Truths, and Absolute and the Relative.

In the Absolute sense, we are perfect. How can we possibly be anyone else than who we are?  If we’re always striving after a future ideal, we miss our actual lives.

In the Relative domain, of course we have things to learn. Of course we want to make changes to align our lives more with our intentions. But this doesn’t mean that we aren’t also whole and complete in every moment.

It seems that many of us have a problem accepting that we are perfect just as we are.   And yet—have you ever had the experience of being completely accepted, exactly as you are?  By another human being? By yourself?

What a tremendous relief!

In our own bodies, this brings such deep relaxation.

With others, it softens our defenses, opens our hearts.

Many of us experience this kind of deep acceptance with the more-than-human world—with animals, or  innature.

My root teacher Katherine Thanas spoke of one such experience that she had with a tree at Tassajara:

“The other day, as I was feeling not good about myself while coming to the zendo, I caught a glimpse of a tree outside the front door and I felt something from the tree. I looked away and then looked back. I felt so much love, so much compassion, so much understanding emanating from the life of this tree. I thought: ‘what is going on?’

“I think I felt the suffering of the tree. It was silent, it was upright, it stood regardless of rain, snow, heat of summer, the tremendous change of weather conditions here at Tassajara. The tree was uncomplaining. It was just there. It supported this zendo, it supported our life together, and it supported me. I felt so much support and compassion from its willingness to endure, to be its life.

“Oh, I thought, it’s OK to be me. It’s OK to be all the seasons of my life.”

As 15th century Zen poet Ikkyu said,

Don’t worry please please how any times do I have to say it

There’s no way not to be who you are

And where